The Wife List: 10 Qualities-For The Guys!!!

Well, I can sum up most of my male friends’ lists right here: 1.Beautiful, 2. Skinny, 3. Hot. A few others might include: she likes football, she drinks beer with my buds, and she’s at least a full C. No matter what I write below, that list isn’t going away for some of you guys. You're all stubborn, but you can also be authentic. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.

Make a Vision Board about keeping you visually focused on your dreams.  Should you be specific about the woman you want to marry?  Absolutely. Make a list with long-term vision. Most of the characteristics you think you want in a wife aren’t ones that make for a good, lifelong relationship. They are characteristics of a woman you want for one night.

Just like character is the most important quality of a good guy, the woman you’re going to marry should have good character as well.  When you find her, she is more valuable than anything.

Here are 10 qualities of good future wife material:


1.  She shares your beliefs

 Your potential wife should have the same beliefs you have. Now, you may think you can do some missionary dating, and turn that situation around so she will believe everything you do.  You’re probably going to be very disappointed with some bad side effects.  If you don’t have the same core beliefs….good luck.

2.  She makes you a better man

If everyday is hell with her, that should be a red flag. Your potential wife should elevate you to Yourself . You can get a good idea from your friends and family. Do they say you act differently in a bad way when you are around her? Not a good sign.  She should bring out the best in you, not bring out heartache and frayed nerves.

3.  She’s trustworthy

In fact, she should inspire trustworthiness within you. If you don’t trust her, you’re probably making her as bitter as you’re making yourself. Not worth it. If you can’t trust her, maybe you’re not ready to date her or maybe you need to work on confidence issues within yourself. If there’s good reason not to trust her, don’t even go there. Just like any cheater, it’s bound to happen again.

4.  She has ambition

She should have strength in character and carry herself with confidence. As a man, you should be the leader in the relationship, but for any dictators who feel justified here; we’re talking servant leadership. You probably don’t want the consummate follower either. She should have plans too. In fact, she should be a hard worker just like you. That doesn’t mean having a job is a requirement. One of my friends is a stay-at-home wife with three kids, and she works harder than any of my friends with careers.

5.  She’s selfless

She should care about others. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. If she’s not close with her family, and doesn’t have any good friends, that’s not a good sign. If you start dating her, much less marry her, you will discover why soon enough...This is an important characteristic to consider.

6.  She’s attractive

In your eyes, she should be a “10.” When your wife walks in the room, you should be awestruck by her every time. She’s beautiful from the inside out.  Personality plays into attractiveness big-time. Just remember, “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.” She should be beautiful down to her soul because that kind of beauty lasts forever.

7.  She’s smart

You’re going to be spending a lot of time with her, so she should be able to hold a good conversation. She should be wise, smart, and give you good advice. Her women’s intuition should be strong. You should be able to look to your wife all the time for advice.

8.  She loves you unconditionally

If she’s trying to change you to be another person, it’s time to move on. Your future wife should love you just as you are, regardless of anything you’ve done in your past. There will be minor adjustments along the way, but if she nags you about your core characteristics, it won’t get any better in marriage.

9.  She’s responsible

Does she remember appointments and meetings? Does she flake all of the time? She should already do a good job of managing her own life. If she’s got loads of debt and doesn’t work, you’re going to be taking all of that on. Ultimately, she will have some part in your financial well-being, and guess what? Finances remain one of the leading causes of divorce.

10.  She gets along with your family and friends

If she doesn’t even try to connect with your family and/or friends, let her go. She shouldn’t be critical of the people who you love and have been loyal to you throughout your life. There might be cases where your mom doesn’t like your future wife, and that may require your intervention; but in general, she should be a good fit with the people in your life. Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person.

When it comes down to it, you know what you can handle. Love can overwrite any of the qualities above, but having these qualities will certainly make your lives easier once you are married. No one’s perfect. Even with this list, both of you are still going to bring some kind of baggage into the relationship. First start with yourself. Check a few boxes off The Self List. Make sure premarital counseling is a huge priority once you find her.

8 Ways To Know You’re Dating A Guy With Commitment Issues .....

Commitment can be a very scary thing for many young people, myself included.
 Eventually, maturity and sorting out personal issues will allow you to get over your fear of commitment.

You can ask any woman who’s dated a guy with commitment issues; it can be a roller coaster, and that can be good or bad thing, depending on if you enjoy roller coasters.

A woman who is dating a guy with commitment issues is often left confused, wondering where she stands with him. However, if you’re a woman not looking for something too serious, dating a guy with commitment issues can be exciting, as they tend to be fun and spontaneous.

Of course, most of us women can have commitment issues, as well; I’m just speaking from my own personal experiences and a woman’s point of view. Here are a couple of ways to know that you might be dating a guy with commitment issues:

1. He doesn’t believe in titles

Guys with commitment issues date a lot but rarely get into relationships. They can be in committed relationships, but date a number of women. Anytime the woman he dates talk about making them“official,” he would tell them he doesn’t believe in titles and that being official was silly.

He believes in titles; he is just too afraid to give them one.

2. He says all he is focused on right now is school or work

School and work are common excuses used by commitment-phobes to stay out of a serious relationship. In college, he will  use the excuse, “he's just focusing on school,” to not date anyone seriously.

After college, he will use a similar excuse: “he's just focused on being an entrepreneur.” Don’t get me wrong; mixing in a relationship while being focused on school or work can be difficult, especially if you’re trying to get a business off the ground. However, if a guy is willing to be committed, he will find a work-life balance.

3. You haven’t met his friends or family

Meeting a guy’s friends and family, specifically family, is a big step in the dating cycle. A guy with commitment issues may be reluctant to introduce you to his family, especially if he is a family man.

A guy won’t want to introduce a girl to his family until he is sure she will be in his life for a while. Guys with commitment issues hate thinking long term. Introducing a girl to their family scares the sh*t out of them, and makes them feel like things are getting too serious.

4. He only makes last-minute plans

He is notorious for making last-minute plans when he is  a commitmentphobe. He never makes plans more than 24 hours ahead of time because too much could change during that time frame.

Anytime a girl tries to make plans with him a couple of days in advance, he  will usually cop out with a response similar to, “Yeah, I’ll see what my schedule looks like.” Any guy with commitment issues hates to make plans ahead of time because the earlier plans are made, the more commitment is involved.

5. He doesn’t spend the weekends with you

How a man spends his weekend is usually a good indicator of where his main interests lie. Many times, a guy with commitment issues will spend time with you during the week after he’s done with school or work, but will spend the weekends with friends, partying or going out of town.

Guys with commitment issues love traveling. For guys that work or go to school during the week and have weekends off, it can be too much to commit a weekend to one girl.

6. He is good with words but not actions

Guys who have commitment issues tend to be good speakers, but their words don’t always translate to actions. When he is dealing with commitment issues he is great at acquiring, but terrible at maintaining.

He is able to talk a good game, but  he is not always back it up. Not necessarily because he can’t, but because he is afraid to. He says the things he says with good intentions; it is just that sometimes his commitment issues get in the way of himfollowing through with his promises.

7. He lacks emotion

Men dealing with commitment issues tend withhold showing emotions or have trouble displaying their emotions. This can be for one of two reasons: He genuinely lacks emotion, or he is hiding emotions because he doesn’t want things to get to serious.

Emotions are scary to a commitment-phobe because they are an indicator that all signs are pointing towards a serious relationship.

8. He talks to other women

Feeding off my first point, for the majority of the time, you’ll be dating a guy with commitment issues; you won’t be in a relationship with him.

Due to the fact that he’s not in a relationship, he feels it’s alright to talk to other women because he technically isn’t “cheating.” He may not be physically involved with these women; he may just talk to them so he doesn’t feel he’s being held down by one girl.

Many times, a guy with commitment issues will keep a bench (women to fall back on) due to the fact that he doesn’t plan on dating one girl for too long.

9 Signs That You’ve Found The Man You Should Be With ...

There’s one thing we’re all chasing after. One force that trumps money, power or reason, and that very closely dictates the kind of people we become. And it’s love.

Falling in love is like coming home. Your worries are quieted and you feel protected in your partner’s arms. The man you give your heart to just feels right.

When you’re deep in love, it’s hard not to picture the rest of your life with that other person. But how do we know for certain that it’s real forever and not just a current fantasy?

Perhaps we’re a little old-fashioned, but we like to believe that marriage — for better or for worse — is sacred for life. Here are the nine signs you’ve found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with:

1. You don’t need to be “on” in front of him

Good days and bad days, he understands who you are and doesn’t expect you to be anyone but yourself. In his eyes, you’re special by just being you. There’s no pretending.

During those lazy times when all you want to do is lounge in stained sweatpants and not formulate sentences, he gets it because he’s right there with you. You can totally be yourself — whatever mood you’re in — and he always thinks you shine.

2. Your happiness is his happiness, and vice versa

You know he’s the one because he’s good to you in ways that you’ve never thought possible. He wants what’s best for you, even if it comes at a cost to him.

The man you marry gives selflessly, as your interests are now his interests. In fact, he thinks he’s being selfish when he indulges in you because it brings him pleasure, too.

To that end, he can balance ambitions at work with ambitions at home. Some stages or careers are more difficult than others, but he finds ways to let you know he hasn’t forgotten about you.

3. Even at the end of a really bad day, all you want is to be with him

No matter what kind of crummy mood you’re in, you’d rather be with him than be alone, for you’re better with him than without him.

He patiently listens while you speak your mind and he won’t invalidate your concerns with his honest feedback. His confidence and passion positively influence your own, which makes your relationship all the more exciting. You want to be near him, always.

4. The attraction is palpable

Physically, emotionally and mentally, you two are compatible on all those levels. The chemistry between you both is powerful enough to block everything else out. Sometimes it feels like it’s just him that really matters.

Even doing the littlest things together, such as running to the grocery store, feel more special because he’s around. The attraction is pervasive from the bedroom to the most platonic of places, like the doctor’s office. You can’t keep your hands off each other and you certainly aren’t holding back.

5. You want to share every experience with him

When you envision your future, he has a major role in it (and vice versa). The idea of spending the rest of your life with him doesn’t scare you. Being by his side is where you feel most comfortable.

When something funny happens or you receive good news, you immediately want to share it with him first. When a cheesy love song comes through your headphones, you instinctively think of him.

From what he ate for lunch to what he’s currently watching on television, you’re interested in all that he does. And, while you sometimes hate to admit this, you’re more inclined to do something if he’s part of it. That’s just what companionship is to you.

6. You have the same idea of romance

Sometimes you feel like you’re in a “Twilight” movie with all this inexplicable magic and love buzzing around. Whatever your definition of romance is — intimate dinners, long road trips, cuddling in bed — he shares in it and will go the extra step to make that happen.

He won’t shy away from pouring his heart out or opening up to you because he trusts you and wants to connect with you on a deeper level. He’ll always be your man, but he’s not afraid to show you a softer side either.

7. You love more than you fight

It never feels good to fight because you care too much about him to hurt him. The compromise always seems like the best option because you both can be happy. But at the end of the day, you really can’t stay mad at each other for long.

8. He not only listens to you, but he also hears what you’re saying

He can read between the lines and anticipate your needs without you having to communicate them all the time. He’s thoughtful and well-intentioned like that.

He knows what you are trying to say without having to always explain yourself. You help each other grow and become the people you want to be.

9. He accepts you as you are

You’re messier, louder and maybe less funny, but he loves you for it. He makes you feel good about all those things you might dislike about yourself.

And he brags about you to his friends because he’s so proud to call you his own. You would brag more, except everyone already knows how enamored you are.

He knows everything about you — good and bad — and appreciates both because it’s all part of who you are.

You are his, he is yours and suddenly it all feels comfortingly simple.

How To Be An Inspiration To Your Man .....

Please note that I am not asking that you hold on to a bad man and continue to stroke his ego. It is not worth it. But, if all your man wants to do (after eating dinner with you, respecting you, loving you and pampering you) is be a music producer and not a lawyer, then damn it, here is how to inspire your man to be the best man for you, and for himself!

■1.Appreciate Him:

Men love (and need) to know that they are appreciated by their women. Show him that you appreciate his little efforts. If he puts gas in the car to get you to work and back home, let him know he has done something very wonderful. Never ever assume that doing these things is what he’s supposed to do anyway, so it’s no big deal. Imagine how you would feel if you did something nice for him (say you cleaned up his apartment) and he acted like it was something you were supposed to do anyway, so why bother appreciating it?

■2.Recognize His Achievements:

Have you ever accomplished something only to run to the one person you love, excited to share it with him, and he shot it down as something trivial? How did it feel? Not good, I suppose. Despite what women think, men don’t accomplish things to impress other men. They do it to impress their women. So don’t belittle his little feats with comments like “I could have done that,” or “you’re not the first person I know to fix the TV remote.” Ladies, please! Do not compete, compliment! And then watch his face light up like a little boy as he walks into the kitchen, puts on that apron and starts doing the dishes.

■3.Encourage Him/Help Build His Confidence:

This point ties into recognizing his achievements. If your man wants to quit his Wall Street job to focus on his love of fixing cars, it is not for you to tell him that fixing cars is beneath him. It is for you to realize that he wants to do something he is really passionate about; something which makes him happy. Be assured that he has probably given it a lot of thought before coming to you. Finding an unsupportive woman is the last thing he needs.

■4.Support His Dreams:

Which brings us to his dreams. Every man thinks he has the answer to all the world’s problems. If only he could go back home and start a technology business, he could fix all of Africa’s internet problems. If there is any lesson in life that you must learn from this point, it is this: never laugh at anyone’s dream – especially not your man’s. They/He will never forget it when they make it, and you will pay for that laugh for as long as you live. If you have never heard rappers rapping about those who hated on them when they were trying to find their way, you might want to start now. I’m sure their haters squirm every time they hear the song on the radio or watch the music video (with the pointed fingers) on TV. Just don’t do it, especially not to your man!

■5.Don’t Crush His Ego:

If you think he is building castles in the air and you can’t deal with this daydreamer, simply leave him – but do so by leaving him with his dignity still intact. Don’t crush his ego on your way out the door.

An older friend once told me that every time her husband came to her with an idea, she simply listened then tried to figure out how she could fit into that dream. It doesn’t have to mean giving up your dreams to help him build his. That leads to resentment. Instead, figure out how you can blend your dreams with his. If he’s your perfect match, chances are the two of you already share the same dreams and visions anyway so you won’t be giving up anything in the end.

Here are some do’s and don’ts to help both of you make it to the end with a stronger marriage than before you started. Some of these may be terribly obvious, but sometimes you men are a little slow and need it spelled out.....

■Don’t ask her why she always seems so tired. Her body is creating a whole other body. That’s a lot of work, not to mention that the further along the pregnancy gets, the heavier mom gets, thus causing her to become more tired. And hormone shifts make her tired, too. Now you know, so now you don’t have to ask.

■Do gas up the car for her if she drives. Don’t tell her you did. You don’t need a pat on the back. Just do it. See, this is an easy one.

■Don’t say, “Man, I wish I could just get comfortable.” Because once your wife hits about the fifth month she is never comfortable, so she will not feel badly for you. No need to complain.

■Do go to the doctor with your wife as much as possible to share in this whole experience. Be sure you are always there for good news, but especially be sure you are there just in case there is bad news. Also, go with her when she pre-registers at the hospital. Becoming familiar with the layout of the hospital will make things easier on the day the baby is delivered—even if it’s just finding a parking place.

■Don’t call her on something she forgot to do. She’s sick and tired and her hormones are doing strange and annoying things to her. Instead, ask her, “Did you, by chance—but it is absolutely okay if you didn’t get around to it—do _______?” Then add, “If not, oh sweetest person on earth, I will do it.” Use your own words and don’t sound goofy or insincere.

■Do arrange a ladies night out for your wife. She needs some time to hang out with friends to be able to take a break and commiserate with other women who have been where she is now. You can try to be understanding, but they really do understand.

■Don’t say, “Do you feel as miserable as you look?” I’ve heard this one too…unbelievably. Time to turn that filter on high!

■Do ask your wife what she wants you to make for dinner—and actually make dinner, that is if you can cook . (And don’t ever cook anything that might smell nauseating or contain mercury.) Get in the habit of continually asking her what she needs your help with—and follow through.

■Don’t say, “Oh, shoot, I had ______ for lunch” if she makes that for dinner. Wives don’t like that. This is far worse than telling a joke you’re pretty sure nobody has heard before, just to have someone say, “Dude, that’s been around for a while.” This falls perfectly under the category of “What were you thinking?”

■Do clean the bathrooms. Yes, the toilets and showers and everything. Your pregnant wife doesn’t need to be bending over trying to scrub the floor behind the toilet, and she doesn’t need to be inhaling those chemicals and fumes. Chances are you’ve used the bathroom, so chances are you’ve helped dirty it. Chances are you should help clean it. While she is pregnant, however, don’t just help clean it—clean it regularly so she doesn’t have to. (And don’t ever come home and exclaim, “Wow, this house is a mess!”)

■Don’t ask, “So have you noticed if you’re getting any stretch marks lately?” If she does, definitely don’t ask, “Are they always going to be there, or will they go away?” Listen, she knows she has them, and she’s hoping you don’t.

■Do give her a phone call (or instant message or text) now and then just to check on her. She’ll appreciate this sign of your love and concern for her.

■Don’t ask her how long it will take her to get back to her pre-pregnancy weight. If you ask her about this, you may give her the impression that you will be less attracted to her until she weighs what she did before she became pregnant. She may never get back to that weight. Does it really, truly matter to you? If she really, truly matters to you then the answer is a clear, NO.

■Do say, “Wow, honey, you are glowing today!” (And mean it.) This needs to turn into your saying something positive to her every day. She is going to have days when she feels sick, discouraged, overwhelmed, or ugly, and it’s your job to help her feel better.

■Don’t get annoyed that your wife made you read this list, or that you’re going to have so much more on your to-do list now. If you ever find yourself thinking, “I can’t do all of that,” stop and ask yourself how your wife has been able to do it all—while pregnant. The responsibilities of running a household should be just as much yours as hers, and while she’s pregnant, they should be even more yours.

5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship.....

The label “toxic” means something that drains life and energy.Toxic” doesn’t only entail obvious damage like physical abuse, stealing, or name-calling. It also represents all the internal turmoil that results from an unhealthy relationship. I’d like to share how to be able to recognize when you are in a relationship that is not suitable for you.

These are 5 signs that you are in a toxic relationship:

■1. It seems like you can’t do anything right.

The other person constantly puts you down as not good enough. They mock your personality, and you feel ashamed most of the time. You only feel pardoned when you take on the traits of the person doing the condemning or judging.

■2. Everything is about them and never about you.

You have feelings, too, but the other person won’t hear them. You’re unable to have a two-sided conversation where your opinion is heard, considered and respected. Instead of acknowledging your feelings, they battle with you until they get the last word.

■3. You find yourself unable to enjoy good moments with this person.

Every day brings another challenge. It seems as though they are always raising gripes about you. Their attempt to control your behavior is an attempt to control your happiness.

■4. You’re uncomfortable being yourself around that person.

You don’t feel free to speak your mind. You have to put on a different face just to be accepted by that person. You realize you don’t even recognize yourself anymore, and neither do your closest friends and family.

■5. You’re not allowed to grow and change.

Whenever you aim to grow and improve yourself, the other person responds with mockery and disbelief. There is no encouragement or support for your efforts. Instead, they keep you stuck in old judgments insisting that you will never be any different than you are now.

If you’re experiencing even just one of these signs, check in with yourself to see if the relationship is doing more damage than good. Evaluate the relationship and what it’s worth to you.

Embrace the answers that come from your intuition, as it wants the best for you—and this relationship might not be it.

Take deliberate action according to your gut feeling. You won’t be sorry.

Maybe you choose to talk about your feelings with the other person, or you decide to put more space between the two of you.

It’s important that if you’re feeling uncomfortable or unsettled in the relationship that you not wait around until the effects of the misery settle into depression. Taking any action is the best medicine.

Now it’s your turn: Without giving names, do you find yourself in a toxic relationship? Have you left a toxic relationship and want to share how that decision has changed your life? Or are you afraid to leave a toxic relationship because you fear the repercussions? Leave a comment and share your experience.

An added note: If you’re in a physically abusive relationship, get help today. Don’t wait.

10 Reasons Relationships Fail & How To Avoid Them....

#1. Wanting Them To Change
No one can change themselves so much that they become someone else altogether. If you expect your partner to be more Like your ex, you need to go back to your ex. Accept them completely for who they are.

 #2.Keeping Track
If you are competing against the one you love in the good things they do for you, you have no idea what relationships are About. You aren’t supposed to compete and keep track and return their good deeds with good deeds of your own. Love Comes from the heart, you do things for them regardless of what they do for you. If they’re down for some reason and you Stop paying attention to them just because they aren’t, you need to change yourself.

#3. Testing Them
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you’re testing them? Do you ask them questions that might tick them Off? Do you intentionally say mean things to them just to see how they respond? It’s a relationship, not a test. By testing Them, you’re just putting them in a horrible position.


#4. Not Letting Go Of The Past
We all have some horrible past experiences that we carry with us. If you read my updates on the page, you know how much I went through. But it doesn’t mean I make my love suffer for it. It’s healthy to forget the past, if you can’t seem to forget then At least not let it affect you enough to make your love suffer. Don’t bring up past issues.

#5. Not Trusting Them Enough
We’ve all seen it, relationships ending because one of the partners were a little too insecure. If you have a habit of constantly Checking their phones, asking for their passwords, snooping at everything they do, you don’t love them you want to trap Them and suffocate them. Have enough trust in them to not make them hurt you on purpose and let them breathe.


#6. Not Being All Ears When They Talk
As I’ve mentioned in many posts before, communication is key. If you want to be happy with the one you love, you have to Listen to them. If you just pretend to listen to them when they’re talking and just nod your head at everything they say, it’s Not going to end well for you. Give them the concentration they deserve.

 

#7. Letting Distances Grow
When we’re in love and not married, we need to spend a large number of time with the ones we love to keep the relationship Healthy and beautiful. Lack of it can really create a lot of differences between you two. I understand in this day and age we All have busy schedules, some of us have school, some of us have jobs, but that’s what its all about - to find time for the One you love because they’re worth your time and attention.

#8. Not Letting Yourself Speak It Out
One of the biggest reasons why relationships fail too quickly is when one of you decide to skip arguments and just keep It all to yourself. That in itself is extremely destructive. Arguments are a big part of keeping relationships healthy as long As they don’t happen on a daily basis. They make you let your partner know how you really feel about something they Did or a decision they made. Don’t let your brain make conclusions on its own, speak your mind.

#9. Making Them Personally Responsible For Everything
You know what we do wrong? We take the word “dependent” to a whole new level. It’s fine to depend on them but to a
Certain level where you’re still happy as an individual. Depending on your love a little too much makes them feel flustered
And makes them think their every move which actually ends the comfort level they have with you. Ease up.


#10.Getting Really Serious Really Quickly

This one is something a lot of you will agree with. You start off with someone, it’s only been a handful of days and you Already find yourself dreaming about the house you’d live in, the kids you’d have, the things you’d do together after Marriage. You need to understand, everyone needs their own time to be comfortable enough with you to help you in Those decisions. Don’t be quick, take it slow.

FOUR THINGS THAT MAKE WOMEN UNAPPROACHABLE.....

Sometimes it seems like no amount of silent prayer or aggressive cleavage will get that cute stranger to take a hint and chat you up. Could you be scaring away men before they even approach you? Here are some female behaviors that make men scared to approach women.

You Look Pissed
Swap the pouty lips for a genuine, friendly smile and your eye candy for the night will be more likely to approach you. The majority of  men agreed that an unfriendly facial expression will keep them from approaching you, so flash those pearly whites at the guy you’ve been eyeing!

You’re Not Locking Eyes
What’s harder than approaching a stranger? Approaching a stranger who hasn’t acknowledged your existence with even a brief look. “he needs to see, by her looking and smiling at him,  that she wants me to approach her. If he don’t see it, he will not approach. So next time you think he catches you looking at him, don’t look away hold your stare for a few seconds so he knows you’re looking and that you like what you see.

You’re Too Flirtatious
A chip on your shoulder is a turnoff to any guy waiting to make his approach but so is the other extreme. “If she’s flirting with lots of guys. Nothing like a woman who is basically telling everyone in the place that she’s open for business with anyone,” he says. “Flirting with everyone” would put him off,  “Grinding out on the dance floor (yeah, it’s fun to look at but I like to look at strippers too…but I wouldn’t take any home to meet my mom).” Sure, he’ll notice you if you’re the loudest, most aggressive girl in the room but not in a good way.

You’re Surrounded by Friends
Admit it — your awesome group of friends can be a little intimidating, especially when a strange guy approaches to hit on just one of you. “Being surrounded by more than one friend makes her less approachable because of the embarrassment of being rejected in front of more people.” Make sure you’re giving him the opportunity to approach you alone check out the jukebox and linger for a bit, or offer to grab the next round of drinks for your friends.

Ladies: Signs that he is Husband Material>>

1: He tries to take care of you. Ladies this goes beyond financial items, I'm talking about when you are not feeling well, he comes and makes you pepper soup, rubs you with rub and tucks you in type of stuff...

2. He asks how your day was and actually waits and listens for your response. This is a great indicator of a future husband. It shows that he is attentive and genuinely cares for you, now and later.

3. He is a hard worker. Men with potential for being great husbands work hard, are driven and productive, but they value a balance between work and life, and their hard work is often motivated by the drive to build a foundation for, and ultimately help to provide for, a family.

4 He talks about the future. He dreams forward with you, sharing hopes and wishes about life, work, your future family and life together as a couple. Chances are he's not only at a point in his life where he's ready to marry, but he's also dreaming about you when it comes to marriage. It's a big deal--a big step forward , being open to discussing it is huge.
5. He readily go with you and takes you to family functions..... Marriage is all about the joining of two families, so a potential husband should respect that and exhibit a natural desire to spend time with the family he hopes to be a part of.

6. He asks the tough questions, challenges you to be a better person and complements you in a way you couldn't have imagined. Great conversations that get to the core of our souls and beings make for great, lasting marriages.

7. He shows a genuine interest in the things that are important to you.

8. He realizes that he is your true best friend, and that despite ups and downs, there is no one you would rather be spending time with, especially if it is doing absolutely nothing.

9.He's emotionally available......For a man to be marriage material, he needs to be emotionally available. He won't shut down when you try to talk about feelings, nor will he refuse to discuss the relationship and how it can be improved. A man who is emotionally available is someone who isn't afraid to show his feelings, say what's on his mind or communicate openly and honestly – all very important factors when it comes to making a relationship work.

10. He loves you the way God loves him... This is a expression I always utilize, it is such a wonderful thing when you love someone the way God loves you and he loves you just the same....

Happy Wife = Happy Life 10 Rules for Husbands.

1. Thou shalt love, honour, protect, and defend your wife and children at the risk of your own life. Make her the queen of your home. No one else is entitled to that honour.

2. A little wine and romance will go further towards getting her in mood than humping her leg like a horny golden retriever. Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on her as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night.

3. Her retail therapy is the female equivalent to your sports obsession, so don’t intervene unless you want her to return the favour.

4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that she shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call her a nag or she will hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.

5. Keep your home in order and good repair. It brings contentment to your wife and praise from your neighbors.

6. Remember you’re going home with her so stick up for her to your mother OR ELSE.....

7. Thou shalt not shower and shave only on days you go to work. You already “married up, Tarzan"; Don’t give her cause to accuse you of false advertising. Clean yourself up for your wife, too, not just for your boss. Tighten up those abs.

8. If you want her to stop talking, acknowledge you heard her, and she will shut up (maybe).

9. Thou shalt not give your wife “the Silent Treatment.” Let her into your head and your heart. Let her know that she is safe in your heart and in your arms. Being unwilling to communicate is the same as being unwilling to love. It is refusing to give her the life-giving sustenance she needs to survive and thrive.

10. Thou shalt not keep score of slights and offenses. Extend grace and forgiveness as freely as you wish to be forgiven.

Mistake Men Make In Marriage....

I want us to look at those little mistakes which are often times ignored by men. Yes, men feel they are no issues, but these things are canker-worms, eating down thriving and promising relationships.

Becoming a king
A good number of men automatically assert a leadership role in the marriage rather than work at an equal partnership. Many believe that nature has assigned the role of headship to a man; I am one of those who speak for the headship of the man in every relationship because I believe that is the way God wants it.


I thank God for those men who have conquered this ego and taken out time to really understand what it means to be the head.

These men have grown to accept the fact that the head cannot move without the neck. But to a typical African man, the woman must become a robot if she wants to stay married. In our contemporary world, however, with women becoming more educated and joining the workforce, this system of male dominance can ultimately build resentment into the marriage. It’s not that a man shouldn’t be the king, but there should be space for both individuals to discuss, compromise, and, in turn, impact on the family kingdom. Your wife must become your partner if things have to work out well.

★Hiding financial facts
The person in control of money in a relationship has relatively more power than the one who doesn’t. “Money is another opportunity for shared experience and women who feel cut off from knowing about the finances feel threatened and therefore less loved and connected.”
When women feel less love and connection, they, in turn, begin to withdraw their affections. For a woman to be happy in a marriage, she needs to feel safe, valued, and appreciated; she needs to feel like her husband trusts her with his heart and his bank account and if this is not the case, and there is a lack of safety in the relationship to discuss matters openly, then there are deeper issues at play that warrant a discussion.

You cannot claim to love a woman while hiding your bank details from her. I know that there are women who spend carelessly and wait for that little opportunity to carry your money to her relations. But I also know that there are very many good women who would be more useful and wiser when they know your worth. Women, naturally, are better managers. Why call her your wife when younger brother is your next of kin? Is she your wife when you buy properties in your brother’s name? You believe that brother of yours loves you eh? You will know how much he hates you the very day you go down the grave.

★Selfishness in the bedroom
In the bedroom, men forget that their wives often need more than they do to get in the mood and the idea that men enjoy sex while women provide it is a common assumption. Why would a wife continue to want to be intimate with a partner who disregards her needs? The answer is simple – she wouldn’t. If you haven’t succeeded in getting your wife to open up and tell you anything in her mind, you are yet to become a husband. A conversation about sexual needs should be addressed outside the bedroom, at a time when both people are calm, relaxed and receptive to ideas; don’t discuss this when it’s time for lovemaking.

To a woman, sex is more than the penetration and banging. You must stop trusting in your macho and big sized penis because that may not matter to a woman who wants to be sexually satisfied. You must be making a mistake if you believe that your ex girlfriend liked it from the back and so every woman must like it from the back; it’s possible she wants it from the side.

Many marriages are struggling in this regard and due to the kind of society we live in, women are seen as prostitutes once they complain about this. Your wife shouldn’t just be reading about orgasm; she must experience it continuously to be a happy woman. Don’t forget; orgasm helps keep her pelvic muscles in good shape, to your own benefit.

★Comparing her to your mother and elder sister
Wives are not mothers; husbands and wives should each be self-responsible. The truth is that no one will ever be like your mother or father and it is unrealistic to have this expectation of one another. And if you want her to become your mother, would you also allow her to do the controlling and nagging that mothers often do?


Would you allow her to start treating you like a son instead of her husband? It hurts a woman when her husband begins to compare her with another woman.

She must not cook the way your mothers cooked because she wasn’t raised by your mother. It is important for both parties to know and express to each other how they feel most loved and nurtured, without expectations for having to be like the mother or father.


★Lack of meaningful communication
Do you remember getting to know your wife when you were dating? When was the last time you just spent time talking with her, not to her. Ask what her dreams are; where she would like to go on vacation; what good book she has read lately. A good number of Nigerian men talk to their wife, but never get to talk with her. That you wake up with her every morning isn’t a reason not to share her world with her.


You only give out orders to your domestic staff-your wife and that is it. If she is not your domestic staff (even your domestic staff wants to be talked with but please don’t talk with your female staff), when was the last time you had a heart-to-heart talk with your wife?

When was the last time you took her to a quiet place, away from the children just to have her pour out her heart to you? If you don’t do this, chances are she may start talking to someone else and that someone could become a threat to your marriage. Women love to talk and they enjoy it when their man succeeds in getting them to talk.

★Involving family in your problems
Families remember negatives no matter how many positives there are. Once you go to your family to discuss your wife, they will forever hold it against her. When you have issues with your wife, please learn to resolve it among yourselves or better still, get a professional counsellor involved. Never take your private matters to your parents or siblings. You will forget when it’s resolved, but they will never forget.

★Forgetting that you are more than just parents; you are lovers
Continue to date and fall in love. What has happened to those love poems you always wrote to her? What has happened to those vacation spots you took her to while you courted? Never allow the spark go off in your marriage.
Rekindle it today. Every woman wants that man who will make her feel like a teenager all over again. You must get to the point where your woman becomes a teenager all over again. Please don’t make her to age before time. Even at old age, there should be fun in the home.



★LOW SELF-ESTEEM
This is one disease that has continued to squeeze life out of many relationships. The woman has a good job but you want her to sit at home and be useless simply because you feel you can take care of her. Sir, a woman needs to exercise her brain. Your children turn out better when they have a mother who is a challenge to them; they get inspired to succeed more.

Deal with your low self-esteem. That you hear stories of women going to prostitute in Dubai, USA, and UK doesn’t mean your wife is as useless as they are. That women get to the top with their body doesn’t mean your wife will get there the same way. Give her some break and help make her career successful.

Lastly, this is funny but true. Your big stomach could be pushing her away. It is no longer a sign of wealth; it’s now a sign of sickness and careless lifestyle.
C’mon, let the love come back to your home. Correct those mistakes and don’t forget; you need God more than everything else.

Relationships: 7 Signs Maybe It’s Time to Walk Away ..

Do not be deceived: Evil company corrupts good habits. ~1 Corinthians 15:33

Have you noticed a change in a friendship? You can’t quite figure out where everything went sour. One of the first things we learn as we grow spiritually is that we sometimes outgrow our friends. It’s inevitable. It happens to the best of us. Don’t get discouraged!


Not everyone , will be happy about the “new you”. But don’t let that stop you! Keep pushing forward in your Christian walk and God will bring the right people into your life!


At some point you’ll have to decide whether to continue to fight for your friendship or just walk away. Some friendships last a lifetime while others are only for a season. How do you know when it’s time to end your friendship? Here are a few signs that may mean it’s time.

CRITICAL- Constructive criticism is one thing, but being critical is another. I for one appreciate my friends giving me their honest opinion, rather than telling me what I want to hear, but there are limits. Some people take it upon themselves to tell you everything that (in their eyes) is ‘wrong’ with you. This can be because undermining you makes them feel better about themselves. Friends don’t do this.



GOSSIP- Be wary of a friend who gossips about you. Any friend who tells tales on a friend is not a friend. You can’t tell them anything you don’t want the whole world to know because they’re terrible at keeping secrets. If your friend slips up once, Have a discussion about it. However, if it happens regularly, the pattern should serve as a warning.

CROSSING BOUNDARIES- Setting boundaries with friends is one thing, but making sure your friends respect them is something else. If your friend is constantly overstepping boundaries, It’s time to question they’re respect for your friendship and YOU. Some boundaries should be communicated or discussed between friends, while some boundaries shouldn’t have to be discussed, and are just a flat out No No.

BAD INFLUENCE- Yes. I know. No one can make us do anything we don’t want to do, but If you’re trying to walk the straight and narrow path, the last thing you need is a crooked friend trying to convince you to walk the crooked path with them. Most times, our bad choices start with the people we surround ourselves with. Keep your circle positive.

COMPETITION- They’re always in competition with you. You get a new car/ they get a new truck, You lose 5lbs/ They lose 10lbs. You see the pattern? Instead of being genuinely happy for you, they are always going to try to out do everything you do because they are secretly hating on you. Whenever you have good news, They always have BETTER news. And trust me their news will always outshine yours.

SELF-ABSORBED/ USER- They are flat-out users. They’re only around when they need you, but when you need them they’re nowhere to be found. It’s all about what you can do for them. Whenever you need someone to confide in or a shoulder to cry on, somehow the conversation shifts right back to them. It’s ALWAYS about them.

NEGATIVE NANCY- They’re always negative or trying to tell you why something (idea, goal, etc.) will not work instead of trying to help you figure out how to make it work.

So how do you know it’s time to say goodbye?

When experiencing constant arguments, often the same arguments, over and over. When the misunderstandings and emotional stress never goes away, they tend to be the emotional equivalent of a cancerous growth. If your friendship is destructive to your own self-worth and well being it’s time to let it go. Especially, if the negative outweighs the positive.

For most of us, it’s hard to accept that a friendship has run it’s course. Hopefully, this article has helped you to recognize when that time has come.

8 More Ways to Stay Connected as a Couple – When Life Gets Crazy!

I hope you can find 2 or 3 that will help you and your husband connect and keep your marriage as a priority.

#Spend some unplugged time together every day.  Put away your phone, tablet and computer and spend time together without the electronic distractions.  Tyson at Uplifting Love wrote a good post, Just Turn it Off, about this recently.  And if you need a reminder of why it’s important to focus less on our gadgets and more on the people we love, check out this great reminder video, “A Silent Message for All of Us.”

#Kiss him like you mean it.  After a few years of marriage, the ‘hot and heavy’ kissing we once enjoyed often disappears.  Add a couple of kids and a busy schedule to the mix, and kissing tends to be relegated to a pathetic peck on the lips a couple of times a day!  One way to stay connected to your husband is to kiss him like you mean it – every day!

#Touch base during the day.  If your schedules allow it, talk on the phone at least once a day, just to see how things are going for both of you.  If talking isn’t feasible, send a brief email or text, just to let him know you’re thinking of him.

#Crank up your sexual energy.  I’m not talking about having more sex (although that’s good too!), but rather about infusing your marriage with sexual energy – the communications and actions that say “I want you.”   Sexual energy “boosters” come in many forms – sexy texts , sexy nicknames, code words, quick-but-steamy kisses or touches,  planning and anticipating sexual activities, trying something outside your comfort zone, and anything else that keeps you connected sexually.

#Speak your spouse’s love language.  You probably know about the 5 love languages, but are you speaking your husband’s language consistently?  When your schedule gets crazy, maximize your connection by showing him love in the way God designed him to receive it!

#Step out in faith together.  It’s easy to get stuck in our daily routines and miss the needs all around us, needs God is often calling His people to meet.   But maybe God is calling us and our husbands to break out of our routines once in a while and do something for Him.  Stepping out in faith to do God’s work is a great way to stay connected, while meeting real needs in our communities.  

#Let go of small things that interfere with your connection.  Do you hang onto small annoyances, things your husband says or does that really bug you?  try not to, but sometimes it requires putting mind over emotions, making a conscious choice to let it go.  It’s hard to maintain a positive connection if you feel annoyed with him frequently, so consider making the choice to let some things go.  I’m not talking about serious issues in your marriage (those need to be addressed), but rather the small things that just aren’t worth the anger or frustration you invest in them.

#Work on projects together.  Rather than always focusing on your own projects, change things up sometimes and work on projects together.  If he always does the yard work and outside projects, for example, work together outside one Saturday.  Or if you do all of the interior painting, ask him to work with you one weekend to paint a room.  Or work on a project you both enjoy (like gardening) or share the “pain” of a project you both hate (like cleaning out the garage).

6 Forms of Intimacy to Build a Strong Marriage....

What is intimacy?

Easy…it’s sex, right? Yes and no.

Intimacy is closeness with another person. Sex is often the first thing that we think of when we hear the word intimacy. Most people don’t realize that there are many forms of intimacy that allow us to have an extraordinary marriage.

6 Forms of Intimacy

#Emotional Intimacy is closeness created through sharing our feelings, thoughts and desires. You have to be honest, first with yourself, regarding your feelings before you can share them with your spouse.

#Intellectual Intimacy involves a mutual understanding about the important areas or issues in your marriage.   Perhaps you want to set goals for the next year, you want to make a budget, you want to raise your children with certain values, all of these involve discussion without fear of repercussion.  It means that you have made your marriage a safe place for discussion.

#Spiritual Intimacy is shared religious beliefs and observed religious practices. This can be as simple as praying together, (although that’s not always easy) going to church together, or discussing spiritual issues as a couple. Ultimately your life experiences, within the foundation of your shared faith, will create and deepen your spiritual intimacy.

#Recreational Intimacy is being active together.  Find those things that you like to do and do them with your spouse.  Taking a walk together, make dinner, go to places together, go dancing together ..etc …do something with your spouse that allows you actively spend time together.

#Financial Intimacy is the sharing of your financial situation.  Financial intimacy comes with developing a plan for your finances and being able to have open and honest communication with your spouse regarding money matters.

#Physical Intimacy is loving touch.  Be it holding hands, a hug, a kiss or making love we humans were designed to want to be touched.  Touch can communicate acceptance and love, a closeness that only the two of you have based on your shared experiences.




Creating intimacy involves:

consistent attention for one another and the relationship itself
respect for each another and the relationship in particular
regular, healthy verbal communication
regular expressions of caring and tenderness
honesty
understanding
encouragement
These six intimacies are vital to a successful marriage, a marriage based on safety and trust.

Relationships: Are You The Other Woman?

Before you all jump to shout loudly no, let’s be real, many of us are choosing this path, or at least find ourselves on it and at that moment are faced with whether to jump right off or continue along. Some notable women have admitted to being the other woman. Barbara Walters did, Oprah did once and I know some of you did and are.

A while ago, a young woman sat in my living room and proceeded to tell me why she thought wives were the stupidest women. She said and I quote “Majority of the men I know don’t love their wives, they love their girlfriends. The wives are the fools because they clean up after them, take care of them and at the end of the day, he goes to have fun with his girlfriend” I resisted the urge to slap the stupidity out of her mouth.

She was sitting in a married woman’s house telling me, how she thought me and my kind were stupid. Ah…but I have come to learn that in order to gain wisdom, sometimes you have to listen to even to the most inane of conversations. So I poured my drink as I listened to this otherwise educated and smart young woman, justify her choice in a roundabout fashion. The mind is amazing, you can justify anything if you really want to…I mean, I have just rationalized this chocolate chip cookie, well I am trying to justify it, but the truth us I really can’t justify it without lying to myself.

But I digress. I think the key thing in her statement was that she was lying to herself. Affairs, adultery exist in a realm of lies. He lies to her, he lies to you, he lies to himself, you lie to the world, you lie to yourself and then you cry to yourself because there will be nobody left to lie to.

There was once a girl who told a married man that she missed him and wanted to see him soon. The wife found out and confronted her. The girl feeling like a tough chick told the wife that if she were her, she wouldn’t be making such a big deal about it, after all, all she did was flirt with her man. I don’t know when we as women started to believe the lie that we have to settle for less! Now here is my two kobo as far as being with a married man is concerned. Please know that this comes from a place of love and also I have a deep understanding of what I am saying, trust me.

1. If a man is married and stays married and has you on the side, then you are only a side piece. You are simply there because you agree to be there. Occasionally he may become so besotted that he will contemplate or maybe even leave his wife, but even in that circumstance, most of the time, it’s more about his needing to leave anyway and you providing a convenient safety net.

2. Men lie. Well, we all lie. We lie to get what we want. We lie to ourselves, so what makes you think that Mr. Man is not lying to you? He told you he doesn’t love her? What line do you think he used on his wife, when she found out about your last tryst? The same one. Verbatim.

3. The wives of men who cheat, sometimes have agendas, sometimes they have a purpose greater than you can know. If they stay, they may stay for a myriad of reasons. Don’t assume stupidity is one of them.

4. Don’t believe the “it’s not where he is, it’s where he wants to be” myth. Where he is, is where he wants to be period. Trust me, don’t fall into that trap.

I know a woman who was a man’s mistress for at least twenty years. She was and is a beautiful, elegant, educated woman. I don’t know what he told her to keep her hanging on in there for all those years, it must have been good. Long and short, this man had a heart attack and left everything to his wife and kids. His mistress and her child were left nothing. Their names weren’t even penciled into the will. She couldn’t see the body.

She couldn’t mourn him publicly. She was a shadow widow, just like she was a shadow wife. She went to the memorial alone, her friends refused to go, and she sat at the back like a nobody. As she sat there crying about his death, she began to realize that in his real life, she was nobody to him. His friends that knew her, pretended otherwise. She was a strictly after midnight, no status. I think about her a lot. I wonder how a woman like that could have fallen prey.

women panic when they are pressured to marry, but there is a secondary pressure. The desire to find love. When time starts racing by, you start to become afraid. The question of whether you’ll ever find love begins to ring in your head, like an unwanted bell. The panic gets worse.

You think deep inside even though you might proclaim otherwise that maybe you won’t find that perfect love. So sometimes when a counterfeit comes around, showing you all the romance you felt would come with that perfect love but none of the commitment, you think that you have to settle for less. Don’t feel bad, so many of us have fallen for their verse. It is practiced so it’s convincing, but it’s no more real than the world they are promising you. Any man that is serious will close one door before opening another. This is fact, simple and true.

Tell yourself what you like…but find a little time to tell yourself the truth. These so called jumpoffs and sidepieces that self medicate with gucci and prada are sometimes dying inside. They don’t tell you that sometimes, he doesn’t take their calls for days or weeks. They don’t tell you that they have to beg sometimes for the money that they flash around like lottery winners. They don’t tell you that sometimes, they get lonely. They don’t tell you that sometimes they hate who they have become. I guess that is what gets to me the most. I told that girl in my living room and I am telling you. If you are on the verge of making this choice. Don’t choose him. Choose you.

Don’t give up everything you believe for a person that has made no commitment to you. Don’t give up the right to dignity for a little bit of intimacy, don’t give up being alone and end up lonely. You are worth more. You deserve to live and walk in the light. You deserve to subsist on more than crumbs, you deserve the cake. I understand that fear, believe me I do. I think that sometimes that books and movies set us up. They are about romance, not love. When the screen gets blurry and the music starts, what is happening is not love, its romance.

Love is commitment, pure and simple. It is not necessarily sexy. It doesn’t necessarily come with perfect words. It simply is. And if you stop looking for the lies, you will see the truth and say it. Anyone reading this, I am telling you…it is as the Bible says, God is not mocked. It is the principle of the world even, what you sow, you will reap. I tell you, any tears you cause any woman to shed over your relationship (whatever level it is) with her husband, you will weep doubly when and if you get married.

Secondly, it is a dangerous business, stepping outside of God’s covering. I posted this here because so many “good” girls are falling for the lie and before you know it, they leave their morals and their faith behind because of shame. My darling, I don’t speak because I am perfect, I speak because I know all too well. No matter how lonely you are, no matter how fine he is, or how lonely he claims to be, you deserve more. You are worth more.

And if you have fallen, if you are there, maybe he is sleeping right beside you right now…it is not too late to get up and say no more. Never mind the lies that float around in your head saying you are ruined. You are not ruined. What was Mary Magdalene, what about Rahab, no one is ruined before God. He is watching you and wanting you to come back to Him. He will receive you with open arms.

You are loved. By the most High. Now tell me what man made from dust can compete with that?

Relationships: Negativity Will Block Your Blessing .....

Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become habits. Watch your habits for they become character. Watch your character for it becomes your destiny.

It all starts with how we “think” …..Our outlook on our future and lives should be positive.

Negative thinking can keep us captive. We can unknowingly choke our own blessings with negative thoughts. Sometimes we have our minds programmed for failure and we always expect the worse. Other times negative thinking is a form of self-protect. We tend to think that well if I expect the worse then I will not be as disappointed if things do not turn out the way that I hoped.

In order to receive what is rightfully ours we must remove all negative thinking from our mindsets. It is time to stop speaking in a way that is inconsistent with what we want. Life is better when we keep a positive mindset. We must eliminate the words “I can’t” and “if”.

Instead, we need to replace those words with “I can” and “when”. What we seek is what we will find. The only way to give birth to what God has placed in our hearts is to expect great things. In order to expect great things we must first think only of greatness.
Prayer and meditation can assist us in overcoming negative thinking. We must use positive thinking, positive words, and positive actions to change our lives.

When negative thinking tries to creep in we must remind ourselves that God is BIGGER. He is bigger than the enemy. He is bigger than any circumstance. He is bigger than any obstacle. He is bigger than our jobs. He is bigger than any sickness. He is bigger than any addiction.

He is bigger and we must not allow our negative thinking to keep us from seeing the greatness of God. Quit allowing negative thinking to overpower the dream or vision that God has given you and walk with an attitude of faith and expectancy. Believe that all things are possible.

Do not allow where you are now to discourage you. Look to your vision to take you to where you want to go. Let your dream guide you to where you want to be. Always dream big and keep a positive vision.

God can do exceeding abundantly above all that we can ask or think. God can do anything. He can make the impossible possible. Make that your vision!#strongafricanwoman

Friendship tips that can make your marriage lovely....

Marriage is an institution that every man and woman looks forward to. There are many of the lot who even dread of this drastic change in life. Apart from love, one needs understanding, adjustment and compromise to make things work for a successful martial relationship. Have you ever thought what keeps two people bonded for life? Of course, romance is a significant factor, but more than that it is the friendship between a couple that makes their bond stronger.

But, unfortunately that is the one thing, which is missing in most relationships. When a person finds their best friend in their life partner, the magic doubles! Friendship helps the two to talk to each other easily and casually. Friendship in marriage is one of the most wonderful things to ask for or to strive for. Well, take a look here as we tell you why friendship is important in a marriage.


1. Builds a deep connection Friendship in marriage is most important for those couples who have met through an arranged setup. When two strangers come together, awkwardness and surprises are common. But, once they become friends they feel much more comfortable and relaxed with each other. More than love and romance, friendship in the marriage helps the couple connect at a much deeper level that is very difficult to break or fade.

2. Helps in communication In a marriage, especially the arranged ones, negative criticism is the biggest culprit that can spoil a relationship. But, when friendship is uniquely merged with marriage, it makes the communication from both sides more relaxed and sincere. There are neither any secrets nor any lies, both of which are a big threat to a marriage. Friendship also helps in building trust that strengthens the bond.

3. Sense of security and no loneliness The openness and ease with the partner helps create a sense of peace, wellbeing and security in the relationship. This is what takes the marriage a step above and makes it all the stronger. Also, when you find your best friend in your sweetheart, you will never be lonely. There will be someone close to you to share the joys and sorrows of life. This is one of the significant factors why friendship is essential in a marriage.

 4. Enjoy the company Why do we make friends? It is because we enjoy the company of some people and would always like to be surrounded by them. We share things with them freely and we can be our true selves in their presence. Well, if this is how good and important friendship is for you, then how about applying it in your marriage as well. Once you discover friendship in your marriage, you will love your beloved’s company always. And, you will look only for them when you wish to talk your heart out to someone.

5. It adds fun and excitement! When one partner brings marriage to a level of friendship, it helps the other to be at ease and create fun memories with each other. Just as you go out and do exciting things with your friends, you can do the same with your better half. Say, if you go out for a road trip or trekking with your best friend it will definitely be fun and exciting. Now if your best friend happens to be your better half, wouldn’t the same experience become more special?

6. Gives you something to value There is nothing more valuable in life than finding true friendship. It is one of the most precious things to cherish. Now, what can be better than finding this very friendship in the love of your life? This wealth is incomparable to any of the riches in the world.

So, whether you are about to get married or are newlyweds, think about adding a dash of friendship to make your bond of marriage perfect and stronger! -

How to Treat a Woman...

Treating a woman well requires a combination of common courtesy and uncommon acts of love and kindness. Follow the steps below, and soon your woman will see you for what you are: one of the good guys.

Method One of Four:
Being a Good Communicator

1)Communicate your feelings. Some men underestimate the importance of telling a woman how they feel. In many cases, men prefer to use actions rather than words to communicate their feelings. If that sounds like you, you should know that women need to hear "I love you" from time to time, so make it a point to express that sentiment. If you have trouble saying the words, try writing a note or getting a card to let her know how you feel.

• The good news: turns out that men are more often the ones to declare feelings of love first in a relationship. 
• Watch your timing. Women prefer to hear "I love you" after sex rather than before. It could be they distrust the words a bit if they're uttered before sex as it makes them wonder if your saying "I love you" simply to get some action.

2)Be a good listener. Everyone--not only women--wants to be heard. If you know how to listen, your woman will greatly appreciate it, and the bond between you two will grow. Try these tips to be a better listener.

• Get rid of distractions. That might mean turning off the ballgame or ignoring the text you just got. Try to keep from interrupting unless the question is crucial to your understanding of the situation. Putting your focus completely on your woman shows her that she's important and that you value and are interested in what she has to say.
• Read non-verbal cues. Gestures, facial expressions and eye-movements can all be important. Don't just listen with your ears but also with your eyes so you can gain greater insight into what she's feeling.
• See things from her point of view. Your girlfriend or wife may be upset about something that would never trouble you, or she might describe a scenario you can't imagine being a part of--but you have to try. Put yourself in her shoes to try to understand what she's communicating more clearly. Even if you don't agree with her reaction or her opinion, keep an open mind and let her know that in any dispute you're always on her side.
• Refrain from solving the problem. When a woman is talking through a problem she's facing, a man's first response is to jump in and try to solve it. That impulse comes from a good place, but it's not what a woman wants. She simply wants to be heard, so refrain from coming to the rescue with a solution for the situation. If she does ask your opinion about what she should do, feel free to offer your suggestions, but don't be offended if she chooses a different course of action. 

3)Ask her how she's feeling. In many cases, you'll know exactly how the woman in your life is feeling, but sometimes, especially when a relationship is new, you'll have to ask. 

4)Fight fair. Even the closest of couples will have arguments; what's important is how you talk to your woman during those disagreements. Do not call names or make threats or use physical intimidation. When the fight is over, don't hold on to hurt feelings; reach out and meet your woman halfway in making up. Do not discount her feelings by being defensive or try to end the fight by just cutting her off. We all need validation for our feelings.

Method Two of Four:
Showing Respect

1)Behave like a gentleman, treat her fairly, don't open doors, this just shows you think she's weak. This doesn't mean be rude! , just don't treat her as less than a man.

2)Be polite. Women like to hear "please" and "thank you." Even if you've been dating a while or married a long time, don't throw manners out the window. Show her the same thoughtfulness you'd show anyone else.

• Avoid using profanity. Never use profanity or offensive slang to refer to your woman, even if you're just kidding. If you hold her in high regard, be sure your language reflects that.

3) Don't change or break plans. If it's an emergency or the change is completely unavoidable, of course you can break a date, but be sure to give as much advance notice as possible and offer a very good explanation and an apology.

4) Be on time. If you're running late, call as soon as you can to let her know. Everyone's time is valuable, and being somewhere when you say you will is just common courtesy. Resist the impulse to put off calling because you fear your woman will be angry. She might be, but chances are she'll be even angrier if you're not in touch.

5) Treat her family well. Even if she says that she's not close with her family, always be respectful toward them and avoid criticizing them. Family bonds can be strong, and parents and siblings can influence a woman's decision to date or dump a guy.

• If a woman has children, be friendly toward them and do your best to get to know them. Women are quick to say good-bye to men who do not treat their children with kindness. Don't ever overstep your bounds.

6) Avoid jealousy. Being jealous of male friends, co-workers and exes without good reason tells a woman that you consider her to be deceitful and of low moral character. Not a message you want to send to someone you care for.

7)Helping around the house. If you two live together, pitch in on chores. Both of you are responsible for the housework. Don't expect her to constantly pick up after you. 

Method Three of Four:
Making Her Feel Special

1)Acknowledge special occasions. Be sure you're ready with a card and a gift when her birthday rolls around, or it's time to celebrate Christmas or Valentine's Day. Marking these and other occasions with tokens of love and appreciation are a great way to make a woman feel special. Remember, too, that right or wrong, her family and friends will likely ask her what you got her or how the two of you celebrated. Don't put your woman on the spot by forcing her to lie or to admit that you let the occasion pass without recognition.

2)Celebrate your anniversary. Anniversaries are like mini-time machines--they allow the two of you to relive an important event (your wedding day, your first date, etc.) They're a chance to re-experience the special emotion created in and by that moment. Show the woman in your life that you value that event and all that's happened since, by doing something special on your anniversary. If you can afford it and your wife or girlfriend would enjoy it, go ahead and do something extravagant. But what can be most meaningful is a card or a conversation in which you reminisce about the good times and the growth of your relationship and your happiness.

3) Give thoughtful gifts. Gifts that come from the heart are among the most appreciated. Put some time and thought into choosing something your woman would love or make something for her yourself. When you invest that kind of time and thought into gift giving, she can't help but be touched.

4) Mention her to your friends. If she's important to you, your friends should know it. That doesn't mean that you have to go on and on about her (and never discuss what happens in the bedroom with your friends), but making it clear that she's an important part of your life will make her feel special versus make her feel like someone you want to hide or keep from your friends.

Method Four of Four:
Bringing the Romance

1) Understand that little things mean a lot. While big romantic gestures may have their place, it's the little things that show a woman how much she means to you. Thoughtful acts like bringing her a cup of coffee in the morning or putting air in her car tires are very concrete ways of saying "I love you" without you having to utter a word. Be consistent. Show her in some way each day that you're thinking of her and trying to make her life a bit easier and happier.

2) Send a message. Scratch out a quick note, send her a text or fire off an email to let her know you're thinking of her. If she has a big day coming up--a job interview, a presentation at work--send her a message of encouragement and support.

3)Give compliments. You may never have to answer the question, "Do these pants make my butt look big?" if you're quick to compliment your woman on her appearance. Dispel any insecurities by saying nice things about parts of her body she might feel less than great about, and don't forget to compliment the things you find most attractive about her. Don't underestimate the impact of a simple "You look beautiful"--that pretty much says it all.

• We all like to be recognized for the things that make us special, so compliment your woman for being who she is. Is she creative, fascinating, funny? Do you admire her achievements and her outlook on life? Tell her! And be sure to look her straight in the eye when you do so.

4)Follow her lead. Initially, let the woman set the pace for your physical relationship. No woman wants to feel pressured to have sex before she's ready, and everyone has a different timetable for being ready. Let her know how you feel, but back off (without pouting) if she wants to wait before getting intimate.

5)Embrace foreplay. Physiologically, experts agree that foreplay is an important part of sexual health. In fact, an Australian study found that the majority of women are more aroused by the idea of foreplay than sex itself.^[5] Hold, touch and caress your partner, play games or talk dirty. If you're not sure what your woman likes, ask. Just do it outside the bedroom. It's easier to have that conversation if you're not just about to have sex.

6)

Pop the question. If you love her, you're ready to settle down and you know she's the one, then make the commitment. If you plan to propose marriage, be sure you mean it. Buy a ring if you can, get on one knee and tell her that you can't imagine your life without her and ask if she'll do you the honor of becoming your wife.

Tips

• Don't make then break a promise.
• Take her on a romantic break and somewhere really special if you are in a relationship, or a special night out if just dating.
• Acknowledge her appearance when she looks good. Tell her she looks beautiful.
• Let her know how it makes you feel to have her as a girlfriend, and that there's no other person in the world you'd rather be with.
• Tell her she's important to you, that she's special to you, and that she's beautiful on a regular basis.
• Make her feel like she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
• Don't skip steps on the romantic level. Some of the best times are those times leading up to sex.
• Buy her little gifts if you see something that she would like (don't wait for a special occasion).
• Don't criticize (unless it is hurting you). Look for the good.
• Help with her projects, whether she helps with yours or not! But keep in mind you never want a selfish girlfriend, if you're doing everything you can to help her out, expect the same in return. She'll be happy to do whatever she can for you, too.

Warnings

●Don't verbally abuse her or her family members

●

Don't be obsessive over her or on top of her 24/7--women need their space.

●Do not lie to her. You will lose her trust and she won't know what to believe.

●When she is upset, legitimately care.

●Don’t compare her to other women

●Remember that all women are different. Never, ever say things like, "I bought you flowers. You're supposed to like that. You're a woman!" or "You better like what I bought you. I paid a lot of money for it."

●Don't exaggerate on compliments and go out of your way to try to be with her all the time, or she will think you are a phony. Also don't neglect her too often or she may run into someone else who doesn't. A woman needs to feel wanted.

●Treating a woman well is one thing. Sacrificing your self-respect and dignity is another. Maintain a sense of self and your own values. If you communicate your feelings about your own self-respect and dignity. Someone who respects himself can be all the more attractive.

●Don't make promises and not keep them. You may end up losing her.