1. Thou shalt love, honour, protect, and defend your wife and children at the risk of your own life. Make her the queen of your home. No one else is entitled to that honour.
2. A little wine and romance will go further towards getting her in mood than humping her leg like a horny golden retriever. Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on her as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night.
3. Her retail therapy is the female equivalent to your sports obsession, so don’t intervene unless you want her to return the favour.
4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that she shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call her a nag or she will hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.
5. Keep your home in order and good repair. It brings contentment to your wife and praise from your neighbors.
6. Remember you’re going home with her so stick up for her to your mother OR ELSE.....
7. Thou shalt not shower and shave only on days you go to work. You already “married up, Tarzan"; Don’t give her cause to accuse you of false advertising. Clean yourself up for your wife, too, not just for your boss. Tighten up those abs.
8. If you want her to stop talking, acknowledge you heard her, and she will shut up (maybe).
9. Thou shalt not give your wife “the Silent Treatment.” Let her into your head and your heart. Let her know that she is safe in your heart and in your arms. Being unwilling to communicate is the same as being unwilling to love. It is refusing to give her the life-giving sustenance she needs to survive and thrive.
10. Thou shalt not keep score of slights and offenses. Extend grace and forgiveness as freely as you wish to be forgiven.
2. A little wine and romance will go further towards getting her in mood than humping her leg like a horny golden retriever. Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on her as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night.
3. Her retail therapy is the female equivalent to your sports obsession, so don’t intervene unless you want her to return the favour.
4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that she shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call her a nag or she will hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.
5. Keep your home in order and good repair. It brings contentment to your wife and praise from your neighbors.
6. Remember you’re going home with her so stick up for her to your mother OR ELSE.....
7. Thou shalt not shower and shave only on days you go to work. You already “married up, Tarzan"; Don’t give her cause to accuse you of false advertising. Clean yourself up for your wife, too, not just for your boss. Tighten up those abs.
8. If you want her to stop talking, acknowledge you heard her, and she will shut up (maybe).
9. Thou shalt not give your wife “the Silent Treatment.” Let her into your head and your heart. Let her know that she is safe in your heart and in your arms. Being unwilling to communicate is the same as being unwilling to love. It is refusing to give her the life-giving sustenance she needs to survive and thrive.
10. Thou shalt not keep score of slights and offenses. Extend grace and forgiveness as freely as you wish to be forgiven.
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