Friday, July 14, 2017

Why relationships are fun from the beginning but gets sour with time.

Don't you always wonder why
relationships are fun in the beginning &
then it feels like something isn't there
anymore later on?
It's because someone stopped doing what they did to get you and now that you're theirs, they feel like they don't have to try as hard,they feel like they don't have to do as much.
Before, they used to pay attention to you, text you all the time, reply back quick, be on the phone for hours, have so much to say, always doing this and that for you when you don't even ask them to, be all over you and now, they keep their hands to themselves, they have nothing to
talk about, conversations go sour, not
making you feel like you're wanted by
them  and that's when you guys start
drifting.
If you want your relationship to last
longer, never stop dating each other,
never stop doing the things that made
your partner fall in love with you, be
creative, invest in your relationship,
maintain the communication, be open to
each, be God fearing, trust each other,
always forgive and forget, be patient with
your partner, be faithful, be
understanding, keep your friends and
family out of your relationship,
avoid exposing your relationship
(problems) on social networks, never
stop caring about each other, avoid
listening to rumors, sacrifice for
your relationship. Respect your
partner, be a good listener, be
appreciative and most importantly be the best of friends....

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Don't Thirst For Attention....

Look, everybody doesn't deserve you, so stop giving your heart, your body, your mind, to any and everybody.

Just because they tell you the right things doesn't make them the right one. Just because the first date went right doesn't make them wife/husband material. Stop searching for it, and let God bring it to you.

Acting DESPERATE for attention is not attractive. Not respecting yourself for attention is not attractive. Begging to be noticed is not attractive. Insecure people do that. Insecure people want attention, secure people demand respect.

Insecure people brag and show off, secure people are humble. Insecure people PRETEND to be perfect, secure people embrace their flaws. There's beauty in confidence, but confidence isn't about showing off what you got, it's more about being secure in what you lack.

Don't thirst for attention. Remember you don't have to chase what's God sent!

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Great advice from Liam Neeson!!

"They say the hardest thing in the world is losing someone you love. Someone you grew old with and watched grow everyday. Someone who showed you how to love. It's the worst thing to ever happen to anyone. My wife died unexpectedly. She brought me so much joy. She was my everything. Those 16 years of being her husband taught me how to love unconditionally. We have to stop and be thankful for our spouses. Because, life is very short. Spend time with your spouses. Treat them well. Because, one day, when you look up from your phone, they won't be there anymore. What I truly learned most of all is, live and love everyday like it's your last. Because, one day, it will be. Take chances and go live life. Tell the ones you love, that you love them everyday. Don't take any moment for granted. Life is worth living.”

LET GO OF THE PAST BUT BE CAREFUL...

If you’re not careful, you can allow past hurtful experiences to hinder you from permitting genuine, loving people in your life.

We all must be cautious with whom we form close bonds with and give our hearts to, but we must also be willing to allow the right people in.

Keep your heart guarded by asking God to show you who is authentic and who is not, who is good for you and who is not, who will treat you well and who will not, who is MEANT for you and who is NOT. Believe me. One way or another, He WILL show you.

Just keep in mind that not everyone is the same. There still are very good people out there.

Saturday, February 4, 2017

Remember Your Vision.

Remember the #vison! Even when others don't see it,even when others don't get it and even when you feel like you're not supported.... Stay true to bringing your #dreams and #goals to #reality ..Nothing is out of your reach, but you do need to keep a space that is free of #judgement , #negativity and #draining energy.. It's easy sometimes to loose ourselves in the opinion of others,be mindful that you deserve to flourish in a life of #happiness #joy #abundance .. Be #grounded, be #focused and keep moving #foward ...

#godfirstalways #focused #determination #hardwork #persistence

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

SINGLES AND MARRIAGE .....

These few points will help you if you truly want to be happily married.
1. Wedding is just a day but marriage is for a lifetime .
2. It is better to prepare for marriage than to prepare in marriage.
3. It is better to be single and happy than to be married to the wrong person. 
4. Three words that echo peace in a marriage:
a. I love you .
b. I am sorry .
c. Thank you.
5. Cohabitation is a recipe for marital failure . Never live with him or her before marriage.
6. Deal with anti-marriage dreams. Deliverance is the solution.
7. Marriage without courtship is like a building without a good foundation.
8. If you rush into marriage out of desperation, you may end up with someone who will bury your destiny.
9. A successful marriage is always a triangle : God, a man and a woman.
10. Why you marry is as important as who you marry.
11. Much happiness in life depends on your marital choice. Don't kill you own joy by making a wrong choice based on facial look and money in the bank. You need divine wisdom from God in choosing who to marry.
12. Three major characteristics to look for in a woman:
a. Fear of God.
b. Wisdom.
c. Focused (beauty is vanity).
13. Love is not blind;
infatuation and lust are blind.
14. Love puts God first, lust puts sex first.
15. Test every love with your peace of mind, if it is absent, God is not there.
16. It is better to be single and believing God to be married than to be married and believing in God to be single again.
17. A broken courtship is better than a broken and failed marriage.
18. Do not marry beauty, money or property, marry a person.
19. Be presentable. Your humility and simplicity are magnets that will attract the right people to you.
20. Having a baby for him will not make him to marry you. Asking her to be pregnant is a sign of an irresponsible suitor.

Friday, February 20, 2015

BEFORE YOU SAY, “I DO!”: ASK THESE QUESTIONS.....


1. What is your worst fear if you marry this person?
2. What do you still need to know in order to be certain you want to marry this person?
3. Is he/she a kind person
4. Is he/she a responsible and honest person?
5. Do you find him/her attractive?
6. Does he/she take care of his personal hygiene, health, and nutrition?
7. Do you feel this person is trying to change you?
8. Do you feel fully accepted by this person?
9. Do you admire and respect this person?
10. What do you see when you look in his/her eyes?
11. Does he/she like him/herself?
12. Do you work well together as a team?
13. Are your values, priorities, life philosophy, and goals compatible?
14. Do you communicate well and listen to each other?
15. Is this person unhappy? Depressed? Confused?
16. Do you understand how men and women’s primary emotional needs are different?
17. Do you trust his/her judgment?
18. Can you live with this person exactly the way he/she is today?
19. What is this person really into? Do you respect and identify with it?
20. Can you express your feelings and opinions honestly and openly with this person?
21. Is he/she critical or judgmental of you?
22. Do you feel emotionally safe with this person?
23. Are you afraid of this person in any way?
24. Can you be yourself with this person? Can you be playful?
25. Can you be vulnerable with this person?
26. Do you like the way you feel when you’re with this person? Do you feel relaxed?
27. Is this person emotionally available?
28. Does this person have any compulsive behaviors or addictions?
29. Was this person abused in any way growing up?
30. Are there any psychological disorders in either of your families?
31. Do you trust him, without a doubt?
32. Does he/she have integrity?
33. Do you care about what happens to this person and want to help him/her succeed in life?
34. Are you certain that this person will respect your feelings and needs?
35. Do you want to have children with this person?
36. Would you want your kids to be like this person?
37. Do you want to be more like this person?
38. Have you thoroughly checked out this person’s character with reliable people?
39. Are you in agreement about your “lifestyle” and family expectations?

WHY PEOPLE MARRY THE WRONG PERSON : ALL UNMARRIED MUST READ THIS BEFORE MARRIAGE........


Many married people are daily regretting and cursing their marriages. If you are single, know the reasons why people marry wrong persons and end their marriages in bitter separations or live to endure it.

1. YOU FOCUS MORE ON CHEMISTRY THAN ON CHARACTER
Principle: Never marry someone because you’re in love. Falling in love is a state of temporary psychosis. It is the “delusion of fusion.” Identify the specific character traits you must have in your spouse and know clearly how to asses for each one.
Background checks are essential, Be especially careful to check out the family.
People from warm and loving homes will most likely be emotionally healthy people.
Chemistry means there is physical and sexual attraction.
Compatibility: Looking for sameness: same backgrounds, culture, language, interests,politics etc. Temperament types are important to know.

2. YOU EXPECT HIM OR HER TO CHANGE AFTER YOU'RE MARRIED
The question you must ask is, “Can I live with this person the way he is now and be happy with him?”
Principle: Never marry potential. This implies bad potential. He’s a chronic smoker and drunkard and says he’ll change for you. This is bad potential. If he doesn't change you’ll resent him.

3. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE FUNDAMENTAL NEEDS OF MEN AND WOMEN
This is all about making sure the male-female energies are in sync. Men and women each have one core emotional need. Men want to be respected. Women want to be cherished, which means they want to be protected, provided for, and guided. The ultimate prerequisite for a man to get married is that he is ready to take responsibility. He has to be ready to be a “man.”

4. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHERE YOU'RE GOING
This means knowing what you stand for in life: Your values, priorities, and goals.
Ideally you should not be considering marriage until you've answered life’s most important question: What am I living for? Two people who have the same life goal have a much greater chance of growing together and staying together in a deeply bonded way. A soul mate is a goal mate.
Principle: The more clearly and narrowly we define ourselves, the better our chance of finding the right person.
Tools: What are we going to build together? What are this person’s life commitments? What does this person stand for? What is he passionate about?

5. YOU GET INVOLVED SEXUALLY TOO QUICKLY
Becoming intimate too soon can be self-defeating because it creates confusion.
• It may create a false sense of commitment and depth.
• It may block you from processing your feelings which is soul-tie
• It may lead to overlooking problems that should not be overlooked.


6. YOU CHOOSE SOMEONE WHO IS ABUSIVE
The definition of an abusive relationship is one in which you are afraid to express your feelings and opinions.
Other indicators:
• You don’t feel emotionally safe.
• You have to monitor what you say.
• You walk on egg shells around this person.
• You don’t feel relaxed and don’t feel you can be yourself.
• The person is demanding, controlling, or communicates with anger and criticism.



7. YOU DO NOT HAVE A CONSISTENTLY POSITIVE EMOTIONAL CONNECTION WITH EACH OTHER
A positive emotional connection does not mean you are in love.
Five questions to evaluate if you have a positive emotional connection:
1. Do I respect and admire this person?
2. Do I trust this person in every way and feel I can rely on his or her judgment?
3. Do I feel totally safe with this person (like I feel with my best friend)?
4. Do I truly care about this person and have a desire to give to him or her?
5. Are we open and honest with each other about our feelings and opinions?
Your greatest tool for measuring the quality of the relationship is your feelings.
Principle: Never dismiss anything that bothers you! Process everything that bothers you.

8. YOU DON'T COMMUNICATE WELL
This is very important: You must be sure before you get married that the two of you communicate well.
Good communication means:
1. We can talk openly and honestly about our feelings
2. We listen to each other and make it safe for each other to express ourselves.
3. There is no defensiveness
4. We trust that together we can resolve problems
5. We have confidence in ourselves that we can repair our breakdowns
6. We work well together; we’re a good team

Principle: You must be able to repair breakdowns 100%, which means there is no resentment or bad feelings left over.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is to believe that marriage will heal or fix their deep inner pain. In many cases, marriage will only make the pain greater and more unbearable! 

Monday, December 8, 2014

The Wife List: 10 Qualities-For The Guys!!!

Well, I can sum up most of my male friends’ lists right here: 1.Beautiful, 2. Skinny, 3. Hot. A few others might include: she likes football, she drinks beer with my buds, and she’s at least a full C. No matter what I write below, that list isn’t going away for some of you guys. You're all stubborn, but you can also be authentic. Sometimes you have to learn the hard way.

Make a Vision Board about keeping you visually focused on your dreams.  Should you be specific about the woman you want to marry?  Absolutely. Make a list with long-term vision. Most of the characteristics you think you want in a wife aren’t ones that make for a good, lifelong relationship. They are characteristics of a woman you want for one night.

Just like character is the most important quality of a good guy, the woman you’re going to marry should have good character as well.  When you find her, she is more valuable than anything.

Here are 10 qualities of good future wife material:


1.  She shares your beliefs

 Your potential wife should have the same beliefs you have. Now, you may think you can do some missionary dating, and turn that situation around so she will believe everything you do.  You’re probably going to be very disappointed with some bad side effects.  If you don’t have the same core beliefs….good luck.

2.  She makes you a better man

If everyday is hell with her, that should be a red flag. Your potential wife should elevate you to Yourself . You can get a good idea from your friends and family. Do they say you act differently in a bad way when you are around her? Not a good sign.  She should bring out the best in you, not bring out heartache and frayed nerves.

3.  She’s trustworthy

In fact, she should inspire trustworthiness within you. If you don’t trust her, you’re probably making her as bitter as you’re making yourself. Not worth it. If you can’t trust her, maybe you’re not ready to date her or maybe you need to work on confidence issues within yourself. If there’s good reason not to trust her, don’t even go there. Just like any cheater, it’s bound to happen again.

4.  She has ambition

She should have strength in character and carry herself with confidence. As a man, you should be the leader in the relationship, but for any dictators who feel justified here; we’re talking servant leadership. You probably don’t want the consummate follower either. She should have plans too. In fact, she should be a hard worker just like you. That doesn’t mean having a job is a requirement. One of my friends is a stay-at-home wife with three kids, and she works harder than any of my friends with careers.

5.  She’s selfless

She should care about others. Look at the way she treats her family and her friends. If she’s not close with her family, and doesn’t have any good friends, that’s not a good sign. If you start dating her, much less marry her, you will discover why soon enough...This is an important characteristic to consider.

6.  She’s attractive

In your eyes, she should be a “10.” When your wife walks in the room, you should be awestruck by her every time. She’s beautiful from the inside out.  Personality plays into attractiveness big-time. Just remember, “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting.” She should be beautiful down to her soul because that kind of beauty lasts forever.

7.  She’s smart

You’re going to be spending a lot of time with her, so she should be able to hold a good conversation. She should be wise, smart, and give you good advice. Her women’s intuition should be strong. You should be able to look to your wife all the time for advice.

8.  She loves you unconditionally

If she’s trying to change you to be another person, it’s time to move on. Your future wife should love you just as you are, regardless of anything you’ve done in your past. There will be minor adjustments along the way, but if she nags you about your core characteristics, it won’t get any better in marriage.

9.  She’s responsible

Does she remember appointments and meetings? Does she flake all of the time? She should already do a good job of managing her own life. If she’s got loads of debt and doesn’t work, you’re going to be taking all of that on. Ultimately, she will have some part in your financial well-being, and guess what? Finances remain one of the leading causes of divorce.

10.  She gets along with your family and friends

If she doesn’t even try to connect with your family and/or friends, let her go. She shouldn’t be critical of the people who you love and have been loyal to you throughout your life. There might be cases where your mom doesn’t like your future wife, and that may require your intervention; but in general, she should be a good fit with the people in your life. Marriage is a joining of two lives that existed prior to meeting the other person.

When it comes down to it, you know what you can handle. Love can overwrite any of the qualities above, but having these qualities will certainly make your lives easier once you are married. No one’s perfect. Even with this list, both of you are still going to bring some kind of baggage into the relationship. First start with yourself. Check a few boxes off The Self List. Make sure premarital counseling is a huge priority once you find her.

Saturday, November 29, 2014

8 Ways To Know You’re Dating A Guy With Commitment Issues .....

Commitment can be a very scary thing for many young people, myself included.
 Eventually, maturity and sorting out personal issues will allow you to get over your fear of commitment.

You can ask any woman who’s dated a guy with commitment issues; it can be a roller coaster, and that can be good or bad thing, depending on if you enjoy roller coasters.

A woman who is dating a guy with commitment issues is often left confused, wondering where she stands with him. However, if you’re a woman not looking for something too serious, dating a guy with commitment issues can be exciting, as they tend to be fun and spontaneous.

Of course, most of us women can have commitment issues, as well; I’m just speaking from my own personal experiences and a woman’s point of view. Here are a couple of ways to know that you might be dating a guy with commitment issues:

1. He doesn’t believe in titles

Guys with commitment issues date a lot but rarely get into relationships. They can be in committed relationships, but date a number of women. Anytime the woman he dates talk about making them“official,” he would tell them he doesn’t believe in titles and that being official was silly.

He believes in titles; he is just too afraid to give them one.

2. He says all he is focused on right now is school or work

School and work are common excuses used by commitment-phobes to stay out of a serious relationship. In college, he will  use the excuse, “he's just focusing on school,” to not date anyone seriously.

After college, he will use a similar excuse: “he's just focused on being an entrepreneur.” Don’t get me wrong; mixing in a relationship while being focused on school or work can be difficult, especially if you’re trying to get a business off the ground. However, if a guy is willing to be committed, he will find a work-life balance.

3. You haven’t met his friends or family

Meeting a guy’s friends and family, specifically family, is a big step in the dating cycle. A guy with commitment issues may be reluctant to introduce you to his family, especially if he is a family man.

A guy won’t want to introduce a girl to his family until he is sure she will be in his life for a while. Guys with commitment issues hate thinking long term. Introducing a girl to their family scares the sh*t out of them, and makes them feel like things are getting too serious.

4. He only makes last-minute plans

He is notorious for making last-minute plans when he is  a commitmentphobe. He never makes plans more than 24 hours ahead of time because too much could change during that time frame.

Anytime a girl tries to make plans with him a couple of days in advance, he  will usually cop out with a response similar to, “Yeah, I’ll see what my schedule looks like.” Any guy with commitment issues hates to make plans ahead of time because the earlier plans are made, the more commitment is involved.

5. He doesn’t spend the weekends with you

How a man spends his weekend is usually a good indicator of where his main interests lie. Many times, a guy with commitment issues will spend time with you during the week after he’s done with school or work, but will spend the weekends with friends, partying or going out of town.

Guys with commitment issues love traveling. For guys that work or go to school during the week and have weekends off, it can be too much to commit a weekend to one girl.

6. He is good with words but not actions

Guys who have commitment issues tend to be good speakers, but their words don’t always translate to actions. When he is dealing with commitment issues he is great at acquiring, but terrible at maintaining.

He is able to talk a good game, but  he is not always back it up. Not necessarily because he can’t, but because he is afraid to. He says the things he says with good intentions; it is just that sometimes his commitment issues get in the way of himfollowing through with his promises.

7. He lacks emotion

Men dealing with commitment issues tend withhold showing emotions or have trouble displaying their emotions. This can be for one of two reasons: He genuinely lacks emotion, or he is hiding emotions because he doesn’t want things to get to serious.

Emotions are scary to a commitment-phobe because they are an indicator that all signs are pointing towards a serious relationship.

8. He talks to other women

Feeding off my first point, for the majority of the time, you’ll be dating a guy with commitment issues; you won’t be in a relationship with him.

Due to the fact that he’s not in a relationship, he feels it’s alright to talk to other women because he technically isn’t “cheating.” He may not be physically involved with these women; he may just talk to them so he doesn’t feel he’s being held down by one girl.

Many times, a guy with commitment issues will keep a bench (women to fall back on) due to the fact that he doesn’t plan on dating one girl for too long.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

9 Signs That You’ve Found The Man You Should Be With ...

There’s one thing we’re all chasing after. One force that trumps money, power or reason, and that very closely dictates the kind of people we become. And it’s love.

Falling in love is like coming home. Your worries are quieted and you feel protected in your partner’s arms. The man you give your heart to just feels right.

When you’re deep in love, it’s hard not to picture the rest of your life with that other person. But how do we know for certain that it’s real forever and not just a current fantasy?

Perhaps we’re a little old-fashioned, but we like to believe that marriage — for better or for worse — is sacred for life. Here are the nine signs you’ve found the man you want to spend the rest of your life with:

1. You don’t need to be “on” in front of him

Good days and bad days, he understands who you are and doesn’t expect you to be anyone but yourself. In his eyes, you’re special by just being you. There’s no pretending.

During those lazy times when all you want to do is lounge in stained sweatpants and not formulate sentences, he gets it because he’s right there with you. You can totally be yourself — whatever mood you’re in — and he always thinks you shine.

2. Your happiness is his happiness, and vice versa

You know he’s the one because he’s good to you in ways that you’ve never thought possible. He wants what’s best for you, even if it comes at a cost to him.

The man you marry gives selflessly, as your interests are now his interests. In fact, he thinks he’s being selfish when he indulges in you because it brings him pleasure, too.

To that end, he can balance ambitions at work with ambitions at home. Some stages or careers are more difficult than others, but he finds ways to let you know he hasn’t forgotten about you.

3. Even at the end of a really bad day, all you want is to be with him

No matter what kind of crummy mood you’re in, you’d rather be with him than be alone, for you’re better with him than without him.

He patiently listens while you speak your mind and he won’t invalidate your concerns with his honest feedback. His confidence and passion positively influence your own, which makes your relationship all the more exciting. You want to be near him, always.

4. The attraction is palpable

Physically, emotionally and mentally, you two are compatible on all those levels. The chemistry between you both is powerful enough to block everything else out. Sometimes it feels like it’s just him that really matters.

Even doing the littlest things together, such as running to the grocery store, feel more special because he’s around. The attraction is pervasive from the bedroom to the most platonic of places, like the doctor’s office. You can’t keep your hands off each other and you certainly aren’t holding back.

5. You want to share every experience with him

When you envision your future, he has a major role in it (and vice versa). The idea of spending the rest of your life with him doesn’t scare you. Being by his side is where you feel most comfortable.

When something funny happens or you receive good news, you immediately want to share it with him first. When a cheesy love song comes through your headphones, you instinctively think of him.

From what he ate for lunch to what he’s currently watching on television, you’re interested in all that he does. And, while you sometimes hate to admit this, you’re more inclined to do something if he’s part of it. That’s just what companionship is to you.

6. You have the same idea of romance

Sometimes you feel like you’re in a “Twilight” movie with all this inexplicable magic and love buzzing around. Whatever your definition of romance is — intimate dinners, long road trips, cuddling in bed — he shares in it and will go the extra step to make that happen.

He won’t shy away from pouring his heart out or opening up to you because he trusts you and wants to connect with you on a deeper level. He’ll always be your man, but he’s not afraid to show you a softer side either.

7. You love more than you fight

It never feels good to fight because you care too much about him to hurt him. The compromise always seems like the best option because you both can be happy. But at the end of the day, you really can’t stay mad at each other for long.

8. He not only listens to you, but he also hears what you’re saying

He can read between the lines and anticipate your needs without you having to communicate them all the time. He’s thoughtful and well-intentioned like that.

He knows what you are trying to say without having to always explain yourself. You help each other grow and become the people you want to be.

9. He accepts you as you are

You’re messier, louder and maybe less funny, but he loves you for it. He makes you feel good about all those things you might dislike about yourself.

And he brags about you to his friends because he’s so proud to call you his own. You would brag more, except everyone already knows how enamored you are.

He knows everything about you — good and bad — and appreciates both because it’s all part of who you are.

You are his, he is yours and suddenly it all feels comfortingly simple.

Monday, October 27, 2014

How To Be An Inspiration To Your Man .....

Please note that I am not asking that you hold on to a bad man and continue to stroke his ego. It is not worth it. But, if all your man wants to do (after eating dinner with you, respecting you, loving you and pampering you) is be a music producer and not a lawyer, then damn it, here is how to inspire your man to be the best man for you, and for himself!

■1.Appreciate Him:

Men love (and need) to know that they are appreciated by their women. Show him that you appreciate his little efforts. If he puts gas in the car to get you to work and back home, let him know he has done something very wonderful. Never ever assume that doing these things is what he’s supposed to do anyway, so it’s no big deal. Imagine how you would feel if you did something nice for him (say you cleaned up his apartment) and he acted like it was something you were supposed to do anyway, so why bother appreciating it?

■2.Recognize His Achievements:

Have you ever accomplished something only to run to the one person you love, excited to share it with him, and he shot it down as something trivial? How did it feel? Not good, I suppose. Despite what women think, men don’t accomplish things to impress other men. They do it to impress their women. So don’t belittle his little feats with comments like “I could have done that,” or “you’re not the first person I know to fix the TV remote.” Ladies, please! Do not compete, compliment! And then watch his face light up like a little boy as he walks into the kitchen, puts on that apron and starts doing the dishes.

■3.Encourage Him/Help Build His Confidence:

This point ties into recognizing his achievements. If your man wants to quit his Wall Street job to focus on his love of fixing cars, it is not for you to tell him that fixing cars is beneath him. It is for you to realize that he wants to do something he is really passionate about; something which makes him happy. Be assured that he has probably given it a lot of thought before coming to you. Finding an unsupportive woman is the last thing he needs.

■4.Support His Dreams:

Which brings us to his dreams. Every man thinks he has the answer to all the world’s problems. If only he could go back home and start a technology business, he could fix all of Africa’s internet problems. If there is any lesson in life that you must learn from this point, it is this: never laugh at anyone’s dream – especially not your man’s. They/He will never forget it when they make it, and you will pay for that laugh for as long as you live. If you have never heard rappers rapping about those who hated on them when they were trying to find their way, you might want to start now. I’m sure their haters squirm every time they hear the song on the radio or watch the music video (with the pointed fingers) on TV. Just don’t do it, especially not to your man!

■5.Don’t Crush His Ego:

If you think he is building castles in the air and you can’t deal with this daydreamer, simply leave him – but do so by leaving him with his dignity still intact. Don’t crush his ego on your way out the door.

An older friend once told me that every time her husband came to her with an idea, she simply listened then tried to figure out how she could fit into that dream. It doesn’t have to mean giving up your dreams to help him build his. That leads to resentment. Instead, figure out how you can blend your dreams with his. If he’s your perfect match, chances are the two of you already share the same dreams and visions anyway so you won’t be giving up anything in the end.


Here are some do’s and don’ts to help both of you make it to the end with a stronger marriage than before you started. Some of these may be terribly obvious, but sometimes you men are a little slow and need it spelled out.....

■Don’t ask her why she always seems so tired. Her body is creating a whole other body. That’s a lot of work, not to mention that the further along the pregnancy gets, the heavier mom gets, thus causing her to become more tired. And hormone shifts make her tired, too. Now you know, so now you don’t have to ask.

■Do gas up the car for her if she drives. Don’t tell her you did. You don’t need a pat on the back. Just do it. See, this is an easy one.

■Don’t say, “Man, I wish I could just get comfortable.” Because once your wife hits about the fifth month she is never comfortable, so she will not feel badly for you. No need to complain.

■Do go to the doctor with your wife as much as possible to share in this whole experience. Be sure you are always there for good news, but especially be sure you are there just in case there is bad news. Also, go with her when she pre-registers at the hospital. Becoming familiar with the layout of the hospital will make things easier on the day the baby is delivered—even if it’s just finding a parking place.

■Don’t call her on something she forgot to do. She’s sick and tired and her hormones are doing strange and annoying things to her. Instead, ask her, “Did you, by chance—but it is absolutely okay if you didn’t get around to it—do _______?” Then add, “If not, oh sweetest person on earth, I will do it.” Use your own words and don’t sound goofy or insincere.

■Do arrange a ladies night out for your wife. She needs some time to hang out with friends to be able to take a break and commiserate with other women who have been where she is now. You can try to be understanding, but they really do understand.

■Don’t say, “Do you feel as miserable as you look?” I’ve heard this one too…unbelievably. Time to turn that filter on high!

■Do ask your wife what she wants you to make for dinner—and actually make dinner, that is if you can cook . (And don’t ever cook anything that might smell nauseating or contain mercury.) Get in the habit of continually asking her what she needs your help with—and follow through.

■Don’t say, “Oh, shoot, I had ______ for lunch” if she makes that for dinner. Wives don’t like that. This is far worse than telling a joke you’re pretty sure nobody has heard before, just to have someone say, “Dude, that’s been around for a while.” This falls perfectly under the category of “What were you thinking?”

■Do clean the bathrooms. Yes, the toilets and showers and everything. Your pregnant wife doesn’t need to be bending over trying to scrub the floor behind the toilet, and she doesn’t need to be inhaling those chemicals and fumes. Chances are you’ve used the bathroom, so chances are you’ve helped dirty it. Chances are you should help clean it. While she is pregnant, however, don’t just help clean it—clean it regularly so she doesn’t have to. (And don’t ever come home and exclaim, “Wow, this house is a mess!”)

■Don’t ask, “So have you noticed if you’re getting any stretch marks lately?” If she does, definitely don’t ask, “Are they always going to be there, or will they go away?” Listen, she knows she has them, and she’s hoping you don’t.

■Do give her a phone call (or instant message or text) now and then just to check on her. She’ll appreciate this sign of your love and concern for her.

■Don’t ask her how long it will take her to get back to her pre-pregnancy weight. If you ask her about this, you may give her the impression that you will be less attracted to her until she weighs what she did before she became pregnant. She may never get back to that weight. Does it really, truly matter to you? If she really, truly matters to you then the answer is a clear, NO.

■Do say, “Wow, honey, you are glowing today!” (And mean it.) This needs to turn into your saying something positive to her every day. She is going to have days when she feels sick, discouraged, overwhelmed, or ugly, and it’s your job to help her feel better.

■Don’t get annoyed that your wife made you read this list, or that you’re going to have so much more on your to-do list now. If you ever find yourself thinking, “I can’t do all of that,” stop and ask yourself how your wife has been able to do it all—while pregnant. The responsibilities of running a household should be just as much yours as hers, and while she’s pregnant, they should be even more yours.


5 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship.....

The label “toxic” means something that drains life and energy.Toxic” doesn’t only entail obvious damage like physical abuse, stealing, or name-calling. It also represents all the internal turmoil that results from an unhealthy relationship. I’d like to share how to be able to recognize when you are in a relationship that is not suitable for you.

These are 5 signs that you are in a toxic relationship:

■1. It seems like you can’t do anything right.

The other person constantly puts you down as not good enough. They mock your personality, and you feel ashamed most of the time. You only feel pardoned when you take on the traits of the person doing the condemning or judging.

■2. Everything is about them and never about you.

You have feelings, too, but the other person won’t hear them. You’re unable to have a two-sided conversation where your opinion is heard, considered and respected. Instead of acknowledging your feelings, they battle with you until they get the last word.

■3. You find yourself unable to enjoy good moments with this person.

Every day brings another challenge. It seems as though they are always raising gripes about you. Their attempt to control your behavior is an attempt to control your happiness.

■4. You’re uncomfortable being yourself around that person.

You don’t feel free to speak your mind. You have to put on a different face just to be accepted by that person. You realize you don’t even recognize yourself anymore, and neither do your closest friends and family.

■5. You’re not allowed to grow and change.

Whenever you aim to grow and improve yourself, the other person responds with mockery and disbelief. There is no encouragement or support for your efforts. Instead, they keep you stuck in old judgments insisting that you will never be any different than you are now.

If you’re experiencing even just one of these signs, check in with yourself to see if the relationship is doing more damage than good. Evaluate the relationship and what it’s worth to you.

Embrace the answers that come from your intuition, as it wants the best for you—and this relationship might not be it.

Take deliberate action according to your gut feeling. You won’t be sorry.

Maybe you choose to talk about your feelings with the other person, or you decide to put more space between the two of you.

It’s important that if you’re feeling uncomfortable or unsettled in the relationship that you not wait around until the effects of the misery settle into depression. Taking any action is the best medicine.

Now it’s your turn: Without giving names, do you find yourself in a toxic relationship? Have you left a toxic relationship and want to share how that decision has changed your life? Or are you afraid to leave a toxic relationship because you fear the repercussions? Leave a comment and share your experience.

An added note: If you’re in a physically abusive relationship, get help today. Don’t wait.


Sunday, October 5, 2014

10 Reasons Relationships Fail & How To Avoid Them....

#1. Wanting Them To Change
No one can change themselves so much that they become someone else altogether. If you expect your partner to be more Like your ex, you need to go back to your ex. Accept them completely for who they are.

 #2.Keeping Track
If you are competing against the one you love in the good things they do for you, you have no idea what relationships are About. You aren’t supposed to compete and keep track and return their good deeds with good deeds of your own. Love Comes from the heart, you do things for them regardless of what they do for you. If they’re down for some reason and you Stop paying attention to them just because they aren’t, you need to change yourself.

#3. Testing Them
Have you ever found yourself in a position where you’re testing them? Do you ask them questions that might tick them Off? Do you intentionally say mean things to them just to see how they respond? It’s a relationship, not a test. By testing Them, you’re just putting them in a horrible position.


#4. Not Letting Go Of The Past
We all have some horrible past experiences that we carry with us. If you read my updates on the page, you know how much I went through. But it doesn’t mean I make my love suffer for it. It’s healthy to forget the past, if you can’t seem to forget then At least not let it affect you enough to make your love suffer. Don’t bring up past issues.

#5. Not Trusting Them Enough
We’ve all seen it, relationships ending because one of the partners were a little too insecure. If you have a habit of constantly Checking their phones, asking for their passwords, snooping at everything they do, you don’t love them you want to trap Them and suffocate them. Have enough trust in them to not make them hurt you on purpose and let them breathe.


#6. Not Being All Ears When They Talk
As I’ve mentioned in many posts before, communication is key. If you want to be happy with the one you love, you have to Listen to them. If you just pretend to listen to them when they’re talking and just nod your head at everything they say, it’s Not going to end well for you. Give them the concentration they deserve.

 

#7. Letting Distances Grow
When we’re in love and not married, we need to spend a large number of time with the ones we love to keep the relationship Healthy and beautiful. Lack of it can really create a lot of differences between you two. I understand in this day and age we All have busy schedules, some of us have school, some of us have jobs, but that’s what its all about - to find time for the One you love because they’re worth your time and attention.

#8. Not Letting Yourself Speak It Out
One of the biggest reasons why relationships fail too quickly is when one of you decide to skip arguments and just keep It all to yourself. That in itself is extremely destructive. Arguments are a big part of keeping relationships healthy as long As they don’t happen on a daily basis. They make you let your partner know how you really feel about something they Did or a decision they made. Don’t let your brain make conclusions on its own, speak your mind.

#9. Making Them Personally Responsible For Everything
You know what we do wrong? We take the word “dependent” to a whole new level. It’s fine to depend on them but to a
Certain level where you’re still happy as an individual. Depending on your love a little too much makes them feel flustered
And makes them think their every move which actually ends the comfort level they have with you. Ease up.


#10.Getting Really Serious Really Quickly

This one is something a lot of you will agree with. You start off with someone, it’s only been a handful of days and you Already find yourself dreaming about the house you’d live in, the kids you’d have, the things you’d do together after Marriage. You need to understand, everyone needs their own time to be comfortable enough with you to help you in Those decisions. Don’t be quick, take it slow.


FOUR THINGS THAT MAKE WOMEN UNAPPROACHABLE.....

Sometimes it seems like no amount of silent prayer or aggressive cleavage will get that cute stranger to take a hint and chat you up. Could you be scaring away men before they even approach you? Here are some female behaviors that make men scared to approach women.

You Look Pissed
Swap the pouty lips for a genuine, friendly smile and your eye candy for the night will be more likely to approach you. The majority of  men agreed that an unfriendly facial expression will keep them from approaching you, so flash those pearly whites at the guy you’ve been eyeing!
You’re Not Locking Eyes
What’s harder than approaching a stranger? Approaching a stranger who hasn’t acknowledged your existence with even a brief look. “he needs to see, by her looking and smiling at him,  that she wants me to approach her. If he don’t see it, he will not approach. So next time you think he catches you looking at him, don’t look away hold your stare for a few seconds so he knows you’re looking and that you like what you see.
You’re Too Flirtatious
A chip on your shoulder is a turnoff to any guy waiting to make his approach but so is the other extreme. “If she’s flirting with lots of guys. Nothing like a woman who is basically telling everyone in the place that she’s open for business with anyone,” he says. “Flirting with everyone” would put him off,  “Grinding out on the dance floor (yeah, it’s fun to look at but I like to look at strippers too…but I wouldn’t take any home to meet my mom).” Sure, he’ll notice you if you’re the loudest, most aggressive girl in the room but not in a good way.
You’re Surrounded by Friends
Admit it — your awesome group of friends can be a little intimidating, especially when a strange guy approaches to hit on just one of you. “Being surrounded by more than one friend makes her less approachable because of the embarrassment of being rejected in front of more people.” Make sure you’re giving him the opportunity to approach you alone check out the jukebox and linger for a bit, or offer to grab the next round of drinks for your friends.




Thursday, September 25, 2014

Ladies: Signs that he is Husband Material>>

1: He tries to take care of you. Ladies this goes beyond financial items, I'm talking about when you are not feeling well, he comes and makes you pepper soup, rubs you with rub and tucks you in type of stuff...

2. He asks how your day was and actually waits and listens for your response. This is a great indicator of a future husband. It shows that he is attentive and genuinely cares for you, now and later.

3. He is a hard worker. Men with potential for being great husbands work hard, are driven and productive, but they value a balance between work and life, and their hard work is often motivated by the drive to build a foundation for, and ultimately help to provide for, a family.

4 He talks about the future. He dreams forward with you, sharing hopes and wishes about life, work, your future family and life together as a couple. Chances are he's not only at a point in his life where he's ready to marry, but he's also dreaming about you when it comes to marriage. It's a big deal--a big step forward , being open to discussing it is huge.
5. He readily go with you and takes you to family functions..... Marriage is all about the joining of two families, so a potential husband should respect that and exhibit a natural desire to spend time with the family he hopes to be a part of.

6. He asks the tough questions, challenges you to be a better person and complements you in a way you couldn't have imagined. Great conversations that get to the core of our souls and beings make for great, lasting marriages.

7. He shows a genuine interest in the things that are important to you.

8. He realizes that he is your true best friend, and that despite ups and downs, there is no one you would rather be spending time with, especially if it is doing absolutely nothing.

9.He's emotionally available......For a man to be marriage material, he needs to be emotionally available. He won't shut down when you try to talk about feelings, nor will he refuse to discuss the relationship and how it can be improved. A man who is emotionally available is someone who isn't afraid to show his feelings, say what's on his mind or communicate openly and honestly – all very important factors when it comes to making a relationship work.

10. He loves you the way God loves him... This is a expression I always utilize, it is such a wonderful thing when you love someone the way God loves you and he loves you just the same....


Happy Wife = Happy Life 10 Rules for Husbands.

1. Thou shalt love, honour, protect, and defend your wife and children at the risk of your own life. Make her the queen of your home. No one else is entitled to that honour.

2. A little wine and romance will go further towards getting her in mood than humping her leg like a horny golden retriever. Also, helping around the house will have the same effect on her as alcohol does on a high school girl on prom night.

3. Her retail therapy is the female equivalent to your sports obsession, so don’t intervene unless you want her to return the favour.

4. It’s not called “nagging.” It’s called asking you for the 637th time to do something that she shouldn’t have had to ask about in the first place, and don’t even call her a nag or she will hang your balls out to dry for at least two weeks.

5. Keep your home in order and good repair. It brings contentment to your wife and praise from your neighbors.

6. Remember you’re going home with her so stick up for her to your mother OR ELSE.....

7. Thou shalt not shower and shave only on days you go to work. You already “married up, Tarzan"; Don’t give her cause to accuse you of false advertising. Clean yourself up for your wife, too, not just for your boss. Tighten up those abs.

8. If you want her to stop talking, acknowledge you heard her, and she will shut up (maybe).

9. Thou shalt not give your wife “the Silent Treatment.” Let her into your head and your heart. Let her know that she is safe in your heart and in your arms. Being unwilling to communicate is the same as being unwilling to love. It is refusing to give her the life-giving sustenance she needs to survive and thrive.

10. Thou shalt not keep score of slights and offenses. Extend grace and forgiveness as freely as you wish to be forgiven.